Well hello again

It's weird to come back to my comfortable old blog and realise how much of a different direction my life has taken since my days of being a stay at home, busy Mum, dedicated to my children, garden, being healthy, thrifty and considering in every day the impact I am having on my environment and others. These days my core values remain the same but my priorities differ so much. I have little time to appreciate the garden and the phases of the moon, in fact I guess it would be about a year since I accepted my direction was changing. I'm appreciating those values in little moments that are fleeting, like getting out of bed on Saturday morning and seeing the stars of Matariki shining so brightly that I could not help but think it's going to be a good season in the garden. Visiting a new friend in Tapawera and spotting a New Zealand falcon in the sky which scared up the ducks we were hoping to shoot for the freezer. I give my feedback on pruning and planting but spend little time with my hands in the soil. Instead I am thoroughly absorbed in my learning at teachers college. I watch lectures online and have written the first academic essays of my life. I've had brilliant grades so far and done very well with reflective practice and observations which my Playcentre training and few years blogging set me up well for. I have persevered with the technology and completed my first semester after a wonderful placement at a rural school. My favorite part of the course has been learning te reo, I've loved the culture and the language since I was a very little girl exploring the native rivers and bush in Masterton and doing waiata at Fernridge School.
 There have been only a few low lights, my blood pressure skyrocketed with the stress of study and exams and I do miss the authentic feeling of living in touch with my environment, however it is thrilling to be learning and teaching. Next semester starts in a week, I'll be doing music, drama, art, math and literacy. Can't wait. I just have time to sneak in a little bit of sewing and hopefully some adventure this week. Best wishes to all my friends and community.

My children are doing well. I am proud of them all. The teen is finding his path, Skatey is racing mountin bikes and loving it, PJ has made some wonderful friends and is still doing  tap, playing sport and trying very hard with her school work,  the Red head is excelling in maths and playing hockey. They are all benefiting from living so close to their extended whanau (family), multiple generations of relatives are sharing their knowledge and love with us.

finally wiping the slate clean

I had a go at rewriting my "about me" but I don't want it on my side bar. So I'll post it here and then start fresh, as a woman age 38 on her own with three children at home, having just sold our family home and all our old dreams along with it:
"I'm a keen gardener and creator, motivated mainly by the need to provide my large family with fresh healthy food. I created the garden and life of my dreams as my relationship destroyed me and my family with dis - ease.
My life has been tarnished by domestic abuse. I allowed it to happen.
Now I find myself at 38 starting over, having been displaced from the family home by New Zealand law which provides for a man to be entitled to the equity in his home no matter what the circumstances are.
My children have had the support of wonderful family and community as well as skilled Councillors and youth workers.
My older blog posts paint a picture of contentment, and for the most part I fooled myself that I was content, I avoided others in an effort to hide what was going on, I pretended things were all "hunky dory", but they weren't and the physical and emotional pain manifested itself with physical symptoms all too often.
So read my archives bearing in mind that they helped me escape and build strength and confidence, I discovered myself as I wrote and got feedback from my contacts all over the world.
I am still me, I share less but grow happier with every day.

Blah blah multi task

I'm spinning green merino while the Dial Up loads.
I've done a little blog house-work too.

The house fairy hasn't done the dishes yet,
but she's got the hallway tidy enough that I don't trip over.
She lost count of the loads of washing she's done. Wood chopping, school lunches, dance classes, baking, homework, tea for sore throats and vacuuming too.
I paid the bills to help her out.
We Desecrated the environment by running the big boys in the car to "Will the lost years" more times than I can count on the fairies fingers and toes. (kind community drove them home after shows. 10.30pm)
The garden fairy planted some garlic and cleared some seedy weeds. She combed the garden and made: kitchen faerie rooster/barley/noodle soup with garden vegetables, which most of them turned their noses up at. Then the eaters claimed it made them fart (not too many onions and Jerusalem artichokes, I'm sure I told you faerie).
School holidays are in sight- Thank goodness.

Not an Epiphany

The teen is back, safe and sound.
Yay.
It seems neither of us has had an "Epiphany" in his absence.
I'm still public enemy no.1
Otherwise though I had great fun dancing at the primary school disco tongiht.
Happy kids and community.
Pig hunting and netball tomorrow.
Got some cool fabric on the washing line.
Hope I can squeeze in some creativity this weekend.

Busy days

Neither gardening or crafting are being done. Pictures? Nope.
I miss them a bit, but equally important activities are taking place.
The youngest child in the family is being supported at school with weekly visits to his classroom. 5 years is feeling like a complete blur and I'm starting to think how much I'm going to miss the faces I see at Montessori and Playcentre on a regular basis. A smile and "Hello" at pre-school is often the only adult contact I get in a day.
Soooo..................
I'm making a little effort for me too, with a little support from some very loyal friends I might add. Now don't laugh, when I say I've been going to ZUMBA!! (I would link, but come on, you've all heared of Zumba right?) Exercise dancing!! I'm still as "unco" as my bro told me I was about 25 years ago, but it's good to get the heart pumping and the face smiling as well.
With that and other things, there doesn't seem to be alot of time left over each day at the moment.

PJ and the Red do dancing in town 2 nights a week and Pj is doing netball on Saturday morning. Skatey needs to be driven over the hill at 5.30am for weekend pig hunting and freaky evening "weigh ins " where I stand uncomfortably supporting him marveling at dead pigs, deer and rabbits lined up and shown off by the local hunting "tribe".
Then the teen also needed a bit of extra attention this week to prepare for some tramping with his outdoor Ed class. They're in the bush at the moment with maps and compasses on a trip they planned themselves. I wouldn't be a good mother if I wasn't freaking out about the swollen rivers after the recent rain and the cold while sleeping under a tarp. Has he taken enough food and warm clothes? I bought him some merino socks from Potters Patch to make sure his feet are warm and tried my best to walk past his room to see what gear was going in the pack. New tramping boots too. Did he wear them in? No. Did I nag him to do so? Yes!! Am I having nightmares? Yep quite a few.
I squeezed in a little preserving. Sweet chilli sauce: 6 bottles. Swapped one for wild duck breasts and took one as a gift for the hosts who had us to dinner on Saturday night.
Tomato puree: done.
Figs and Fejoias: waiting for me to do something with them.
Garlic: a little bit planted.
Weeds: quite tasty in salad.
Chooks: one laying.
Dog: ear might be getting better, touch wood.
Knitting socks: The second sock curse has taken effect.
Kindness: Feeling good about considering other peoples situations and feelings.
Reading: a selection of knitting books and mags + Jean. M. Auel, in hope that there'll be a new one soon. All my favorite blogs too, with the teen away the computer is MINE.
Listening: Still to the "Black Eyed Peas" and "Marianne Faithfull" probably because that "Lucy Jordan" birthday is looming fast.
Windows, lawns, housework, washing and wood: Waiting for a WOOFER or a visit from Granny.

Food supply

Time for a little seed saving.
Recently I have ventured back into the garden after a summer of mostly neglect. I'm hearing that alot of people have had that kind of season. It's been our season to nurture ourselves as a family, with trips to the beach, bike rides and making efforts to spend time with extended family . Natural disasters around the world however are making me mindful that we should never take things for granted, especially our food supply.

So with that thought in mind I'm back to the soil with renewed enthusiasm. I have some seedlings started and am busy clearing swathes of weeds which are going to seed in order to make way for the winter food crops. We'll have leeks, broccoli, celery, spinach, lettuce and cabbage fresh from the garden this winter if the season is favorable. I'm sure it's not too late to get all these seedlings into the garden. As well I'm planting peas, they survive quite well overwinter if they are a couple of inches high and it gives them a good little head start in spring. There are broad beans too, not my favorite vegetable, but they have planted themselves dropping out of their dried pods where I left the plants standing since the spring. There are millions of parsnips self seeded too, if only I could grow carrots as well as I grow parsnip. Coriander,radishes, nettle and chickweed are popping up everywhere so I guess it's not so bad to neglect the garden for a season. If I keep my eyes open and clear up carefully we'll have a good selection of nourishing food for the cold months.

My Skatey boy is initiating his own learning in the area of survival by finding role models to take him pig hunting and hopefully duck shooting soon. He experienced his first real pig hunt and kill last week so if push comes to shove we'll be right for meat too.

Just quietly though , I hope he goes for deer as well because I'm not very partial to wild pork.

Our house

I loved Melissa's question "Do you have an imaginary house somewhere?"

I do.

There is even a picture of it on our fridge.

Next to the gold cards that Skatey is very proud of.

We even have a story about our imaginary house. It is a ramshackle old villa within walking distance of the sea. There's fretwork around the veranda with saplings growing up through the decking and creepers winding up around the pillars. Some sweet jasmine sneaks it's way into the kitchen where baskets of herbs and vegetables are stacked waiting for preservation. Lemon verbena, thyme, Echinacea, and walnuts drying, a cat is watching a mouse. Herbal tinctures and dried herbs in dark glass jars line the shelves alongside picked onions and brandied cherries. An ancient coal range bakes bread, heats water and in winter we warm our feet in it's oven while coffee peculates on top. The attic has spiders, creaky floorboards and sunlight streaming in, a family quilt covers the bed. There are secret passages and a dark and creepy staircase. Outside the grounds are full of native birdsong because the cats and dog are too old to chase. There are beehives and a goat out back near a stream with a water wheel. Silly old sheep come when you call them and possums eat my roses and apples. Wildflowers do their own gardening as the sound of the waves crash and whales are sighted in the distance.

For Skatey there's a shed where he's restoring an old car, for teen there's Internet connection, for Pj Granny lives there too and for the red head there are monarch butterflies and books.

Do you have an imaginary house somewhere?

Suede, Brain

The teen is getting quite good at juggling, but I'm sick of hearing the four of them fight over the juggling set so I made a trio out of suede. I sort of traced the pattern from a tennis ball, that turned out too big so the red head scored the first one. I made it smaller, tracing round the bottom of a glass. Very fiddly to sew but stuffed with sushi rice they are "spot on " according to the teen.
It's nice to see him juggling while he waits for the dial up to load. Good for his brain I'm sure.

Speaking of good for brains,
You'll recognise me in the supermarket because my kids, especially the red head will be saying "mum coke's not good for your brain eh? Are rice crackers good for your brain?
I probably refer to what I think is good for their brain a little too often, do you think?

Family creativity

I know I didn't knit this enthusiastically when I was 8 years old. PJ caught the knitting bug in the last week of the school holidays and worked for three days to create a jersey for Willow and blankets for her favorite soft toys. I kind of bungled away nearby trying to set a good example and to be on hand to help while trying myself to perfect my Continental style knitting.

It was OK on these simple singlets:

I found the pattern for these after advice from Melissa who pointed me in the direction of Soule Mama whose archives I searched until I found this from The thrifty knitter , perfect for a newborn and a new knitter.

This:

was a little more difficult, I've been doing it on and off for about three weeks. I found myself switching back to the English style knitting that I learned around 8 years old myself, because the weight on the left hand needle made it harder to get into the swing of Continental style. Knitting two stitches together for the pattern slowed me down to a pain full beginners pace, though it did make me appreciate PJ's efforts alot more, but not enough to ignore my impatient streak. Back to English style to get it finished, both she and I are really pleased with the result. She helped me sort through some light weight fabrics to choose the blue floral which tones in beautifully with the cotton knit. I got the pattern from a book which I have since returned to the library, I think it was this one. I've put it on my wish list now because it's full of similar delights.

The paua shells I used as props with the singlets are from skatey's trip over the bay, his creative streak lead him to borrowing a grinder from the neighbour to grind off the grey shell to reveal the beautiful colours beneath. Then he varnished it to make the colour "pop". He gave me some to have in my bedroom. I treasure them as an expression of his creativity.

Oh I wish I had a WOOFER

I know, I'm repeating myself. It's just that time of year where a pair of extra hands would be helpful. I've picked a lot of huge tomatoes which need to be made into sauce. I'm not sure how many more I will get as I think the plants have blight. The symptoms are browning leaves and fruit browning before it goes ripe. A Woofer could pull out the affected plants and burn them, plant some seeds for winter crops, turn compost, summer prune fruit trees, pick gherkins and bottle them, dig the rest of the garlic and clean it up, pull the shallots and string them up, pick the last of the currants and preserve them, clean the chookhouse, weed and water, then mow the lawn. They'd deserve a good dinner and a swim after that.
You'd think two teenage boys would be pretty useful around the house wouldn't you? I haven't got the knack of how to get them motivated to help. Skatey has gone off adventuring again anyway, over to Anatori to collect Paua from the sea over there. One last adventure before school starts. Can't believe I'll have two at High School, I'm really hoping Skatey will find a lot to inspire him there. The teen is looking forward to going back now that we've sorted out his timetable clashes and bought the new uniform and supplies for school. He's doing English, Math, Physics, Computer Studies, P.E and Outdoor Education so I reckon he's in for an awesome year.

Caught a Kahawai. Vege friends look away

It sure does take a village to raise a child.

How lucky we are to live in such a good one.
Several times over the past few weeks one or other of our children has run inside at dinner time to ask "Mum can I go fishing with the neighbour?"

Even though dinner is about to be served, camp consent forms need to be found and rooms should really be tidied, I couldn't possibly answer no.

Skatey boy rushed back in at about 9pm.

(I'd just been beginning to fret as I do when my kids are not with me, especially if they are on the ocean. I'd keep them cuddled up at home, but their Dad taught me some years ago that the best thing was to give them the full experience of life and not to molly coddle them too much.)

He ran in, "Mum look at the Kahawai that I caught!!!!"

I was gobsmaked! That fish will feed the whole family tonight. We had the story of the catch and so, the appreciation of where the food comes from. It also provides a boy who needs adventure with the buzz he needs without searching for some kind of artificial high. If I could get him anything he wanted for Christmas it would be life long adventure. Thank you to my neighbours on both sides and up the Valleys for helping me out with that.

He approved the showing of his face and his fish on the blog.

A strategy for tattle tailers

I have to share this wonderful trick.
A friend who I really admire has raised 5 lovely children , one of whom has special needs after an horrific accident involving a fall when he was two years old.
I was telling her about my tiredness at dealing with constant silly tattle tailing. She said "look this is what worked for me: Every time you get a tattle tale say to the child something like Oh dear that's no good, just a minute let me wipe your face it's really grubby"
I LOVE IT!
I still listen, don't get me wrong, but those silly tales (she did this, he did that) get forgotten after a good scrub of the face.
Helps them solve their own disagreements and they are playing much more happily while I prepare dinner, which with the warmer weather and abundance of veges in the garden is probably an 80% sustainable meal most nights.
That's gotta be good! Skatey boy is even stepping up to do some cooking!
Oh happy days.

Not Again

Trampoline this time. The red head snapped both bones in his lower arm last night. Skatey had been helping him to flip!!!!!!! Red said "I cracked my bloody bones Mum"
Very brave at the hospital, worse break this time, but got it x rayed quicker.
I missed the Playcentre AGM which I had been looking forward to for awhile as it would have been my last one, having gone to most of them over the last 16 years.

Friday at last

PJ and I bought some delicious local apples for this weekend's baking. She's been taking about baking again all week and how could I refuse after she worked so hard to achieve "high honours" in her tap dancing exam this week.
The red head stayed home most of the week with me after his eardrum burst on Tuesday night. It was just as well he hadn't gone to see the Parachute band with the other kids that night. His earache came on so quickly but his fever and pain depreciated equally as quickly once the ear burst. So now I add burst eardrum to my long list of parenting experience. Gotta love it!

Thanks for the kind comments and emails I received after my last post. The blog community have been a lifeline at times over the past few years. Please accept this as a personal Thank You.



I understand too that my less than " perfect" relationship status got me dropped off a few peoples favorites as well. Walk a mile in my shoes before you judge me is all I ask.

In the kitchen

It would take me all day to catch you up with what's been going on here in the garden, at the sewing table and with life so I'm not even going to try. The focus of my life has changed a bit lately, I don't feel I can be as open with my thoughts here anymore. Some of my friends know my partner of 17 years and I separated earlier in the year, it has been a horrific time involving alot of grieving and of putting all my energy into my children to help them get through as best we can. We all have a long way to go.

They were very excited about Fathers Day this year. PJ said she wanted to make cup cakes for her Dad, so despite the chooks wrecking havoc in my garden and the boysenberries still desperately needing to be pruned, we spent some quality time in the kitchen.

The red head likes the beater,
And PJ looked the part with her Grandmas apron as they teetered on the stool without fighting to watch the mixer going round.

Thank goodness someone in the family is showing some interest in cooking. Hopefully she'll be cooking dinner for me someday.

Music of my Youth

36, 20 years since I was 16, 1989.
My teen is alot better behaved than I was 20 years ago. My goodness 20 years seems such a long time. Music takes me back. We were doing " Annie get your Gun" at High School. I loved Art, U2 rocked, I loved Led Zep, The Volent Femmes, Joe Satriani, Marianne Faithful, and I was going out with the postman's son ( naughty, naughty) about to go totally off the rails with a bad boy from Oamaru. I hitch hiked to parties and spent weekends with friends. I quit violin and began to wear leather. If I was my mother I'd have been totally insane with worry. I also quite fancied a red head for a bit. If I could go back to 16 I wouldn't change a thing! Except I'd be confident that I was awesome as me and I'd love myself a bit more. On the eve of 36 I adore my kids and move forward with no regrets! I treasure these kids for their gifts, how lucky am I to know them.

My school report read " Gillian is a walking jewelery display and likes to be involved in activities. Can be distracted by others.",

"Gillian is an expressive worker but demands a high standard of herself. This can inhibit work at times but over all effect is good."

Mrs Bolt told me I wasn't going to pass my school cert music exam, so when I did I rang her to gloat.

She is still there at the teen's school, my school councillor is now the acting principal. The crusty old History teacher now teaches my son computer studies and my third form English teacher who I quite liked for debates about anti vivisection now teaches my son 5th form English and he is totally uninspired. Go Figure!

I'd quite like to teach textiles. My younger cousin teaches PE. J*** said to the teen, "hey Teen have you seen the hot new PE teacher? Teen said Dude she's my Mums cousin"

Man I loved High school. Skatey boy is off there next year and i finally fit in with a few mums my age.

Skatey loves Art and music and is sensitive.

Watch out Gilly!

Nearly 16

The kids know how to make me smile, it makes my day.

My first question when the kids ask for a new friend over is "Is he/she a good eater?"

They know I'm not going to cook special dinners which cater to a fusspot who doesn't eat veges. I know, a bit selfish on my part but I've raised my kids to be quite independent, eat what's in front of them and to pick up after themselves, most of the time the family works like a well oiled machine. I get a bit of hassle from them but I think they feel secure with the routine. They do all think it's disgusting how one of the teens regular overnight guests leaves plates, cups and tissues everywhere and is never ready to go on time. Grrrr. So anyway we've got a sports billet coming from Christchurch in the weekend which will mean a shuffle round of bedrooms and a bit of a de- clutter to fit another teen in the house for a few days.

This morning I made cheese on toast for the kids to take in their school lunches. My teen is notoriously lazy about making food so I try not to do it for him in the hope that he will be driven to prepare his own delicious snacks. (Not a particularly effective strategy I might add.) anyway he spied the cheese on toast for the younger children and gave me a sad face to take some in his lunch. He thought it was terribly unfair that I only gave him one and his sister got two. I must mention he excels in drama and spent the next 15 minutes before school trying to make me feel like the most heinous mother in the universe. Which of course made me laugh, but he went in for the kill as he walked out the door , teasing "HEY MUM, I hope the billet is reeaally neeedy!"

Little rotter!!

Totally unrelated but making me smile as well, some of the book fair girls are finished

I might even give them an outing at the indoor market this weekend.

Garden notes June

I was shuffling through the photos looking for a good one to illustrate my lovely new cottons, but instead all I could see in the photos were the garden jobs I need to get onto.

Fabric drying in the sun, but lurking behind is the glasshouse which needs the tomato plants and weeds cleared out. The chookhouse and run which need their straw changed while the big boysenberry against the shed needs to be tackled. The rabbit run which I'm standing on needs cleaning out and a few repairs made and down in the next photo the esplaired fruit trees need a bit of pruning to neaten them up.
I did make a half hearted start with the garlic today. I separated out the cloves and planted a block of about 150. When I later went to feed the chooks I saw the young roosters had been having a lovely scratch around where I had planted it but hopefully they should be in deep enough not to have been disturbed. It did however motivate me to cage the roosters to fatten them up for the pot. Don't tell skatey, he's not at all impressed with that concept.

Laundry

I've really appreciated the comments latley, especially one I got from Briar today about enjoying me keeping it real. I like to think that I'm like that.
On my blog I have always tried to find a balance between "keeping it real" and "airing my dirty laundry" of which there is quite a pile! So THANKS you just made my day.

To all who are waiting for the possum gloves pattern I have most of it typed up. I actually didn't realise how tricky it would be because I don't want to get anything wrong. I can see why people have pattern testers now. It is my goal this week to get it finished, that is if that jolly dirty laundry doesn't get on top of me.

Here is another super dooper keeping it real blog.

After school holidays

Winners announced below.

I breathed a big sigh of relief sending the children back to school yesterday. We all really enjoyed the break but everybody was getting to the stage where we were seriously getting on each others nerves! My kids have 3 or 4 years between them, which was brilliant when they were little because I only had one in nappies at a time, but now they are finding it hard to get on. I wish I could say the older ones were lovely caring examples for their younger siblings, but that would be a bold faced lie. The teen is a grump to me and all who are younger, but is perfectly behaved when he wants something! I could go on all day about the sibling rivalry and where I went wrong, but what's the point?
Freya the old black cat and I are home alone, blissfully un- hassled, she sleeping and I sewing. It's rainy and warm, the house smells like tomato sauce which is bubbling on the stove. I'm happy, with my fabric stash all over the lounge, inspired by another new bag. I nearly made my perfect bag a few months ago, but with a few improvements I 'm getting even closer this week.

A bright tote is perfect when I'm going to a meeting or to the market but when I'm hopping in and out the car with a few kids to get in and out, maybe carrying groceries or library books too, then I need a bag diagonally across my shoulder so it doesn't slip off. The pocket on the front is working well for slipping my keys in and finding them again quickly and the size is just right.

I'm putting this delicious brown one in the shop.

I have drawn out names for my wee giveaway, a ball of wool for Michelle (choose a colour) and a brooch for Heart in the country .Thanks to everyone who took the time to enter, nice to meet you all.